It seems so weird to say mommy, after all God felt the need to take you to make me who I am today. It's been almost 11 years since your death. I think about you everyday. At first it was I forgot your voice and then it was I forgot the way your hands looked then it was the little laugh lines you had where the placement was and if they look like mine now. I hope you are proud of me mommy. I have tried the best I know how in life and it was not easy but I knew that God was (is) watching me and protecting me in those moments of loneness. I am so lucky to have known such a fun and lovable person in such a short time (2years).
I thought about you a lot wondering how life was going to be for me and you. I wanted to make daddy and you very proud of me always. I am who I am today because of you. The day I graduated I stopped to be angry at you for leaving and realized that you were shaping me to be who I am today. I felt so alone with my siblings. Few of the family members were there to cheer us but in the stands was my friends whom where as close as a family I had. I miss you everyday and try not to think of you on the days I need you the most but its only to get me by on those days. I love you and miss you everyday I am grateful to have known you.
Ayanda Monyela (Letter to my mom Julia)
