Growing up, I remember my fathers family told me that the reason why my mother left me when I was 2 months old is because she never loved me. Since then my heart was surrounded with hatred and grudges. Things became worse when my father got married again, my step mother was ill-treating me, I cried day and night, with no one to help me. My father used to always say that things will get better. I used to ask myself how long I had to endure that kind of life, to the extent hat I even contemplated suicide- I overdoses on sleeping tablets. I was so angry and disappointed that I was still alive, things never changed instead I was dying inside, my heart was getting dirty.
When I was 16, doing my Matric, I asked my brother to reunite me with my biological mother; this would be the first time we meet as I grew up without her. When I met my mother, she had converted to Christianity, and she prayed that God would soften my heart and allow me to forgive her. She never gave up on that prayer until my heart softened up. After 16-17 years of not knowing her, I met her and although I still had anger and hurt. I wanted to now my mother, I wanted to feel her love.
I then lived with my mother, I would walk past her and ignore her as I could not get past the rejection. My aunt, who saw the situation, invited me to the church and told me that only God can help me deal with my anger and frustrations; after refusing to go with her for sometime- I took her up on her invitation. I remember the day so clearly, it was a Wednesday, and the pastor said in his preaching that "You can have everything this world could offer, e.g. a house, car, good marriage, etc. but if you don't have a forgiving heart everything you have is meaningless." he called those who had hard time forgiving and letting go of the past to come in front of the altar and ask God to forgive them. I believe I was the first one to stand up, and since that day- after pouring out my soul to God - I couldn't wait to go home, for the first time I hugged my mother with tears of joy in my eyes. With cheerful heart, I told my mother how much I loved her and forgave her for everything, I even forgave my step mother.
Today I can say I talk to my step mother more than my dad. After two years of having the love of my mother she passed on, but I believed her heart was at peace because all her children were united. When you decide to forgive God helps you in all aspects.
Take hold, for God always forgives us even Jesus He forgave all our sins, forgiveness opens the way. "But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." (Psalms 130:4)
The strength of the youth comes from within!!!!!When I was 16, doing my Matric, I asked my brother to reunite me with my biological mother; this would be the first time we meet as I grew up without her. When I met my mother, she had converted to Christianity, and she prayed that God would soften my heart and allow me to forgive her. She never gave up on that prayer until my heart softened up. After 16-17 years of not knowing her, I met her and although I still had anger and hurt. I wanted to now my mother, I wanted to feel her love.
I then lived with my mother, I would walk past her and ignore her as I could not get past the rejection. My aunt, who saw the situation, invited me to the church and told me that only God can help me deal with my anger and frustrations; after refusing to go with her for sometime- I took her up on her invitation. I remember the day so clearly, it was a Wednesday, and the pastor said in his preaching that "You can have everything this world could offer, e.g. a house, car, good marriage, etc. but if you don't have a forgiving heart everything you have is meaningless." he called those who had hard time forgiving and letting go of the past to come in front of the altar and ask God to forgive them. I believe I was the first one to stand up, and since that day- after pouring out my soul to God - I couldn't wait to go home, for the first time I hugged my mother with tears of joy in my eyes. With cheerful heart, I told my mother how much I loved her and forgave her for everything, I even forgave my step mother.
Today I can say I talk to my step mother more than my dad. After two years of having the love of my mother she passed on, but I believed her heart was at peace because all her children were united. When you decide to forgive God helps you in all aspects.
Take hold, for God always forgives us even Jesus He forgave all our sins, forgiveness opens the way. "But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." (Psalms 130:4)
