Living in Fear Tale of my life: FEAR TOOK OVER IN MY LIFE

In 2010, I was involved in a taxi accident that took place in corner Empire road on my way back from work. I was sitting at the back sit of the taxi with two of my colleagues, when the taxi behind us lost control and hit the one I was in. One of my colleagues seemed like the most injured as she was the first one to scream, everyone in the taxi suggested that she goes to the nearby clinic (Hillbrow Clinic). At that point I was not feeling any pains as I was still in a state of shock but the taxi driver insisted that I also go to the clinic, little did I know what was in store for me. On my arrival I went through a checkup as per procedure to my surprise I was the only one referred to a local hospital (Johannesburg General).

After two hours of shifting from one chair to another I was then taken into the X-ray room. At that point I didn't see the reason of being sent there because I didn't feel any pain. However I let my gut down because this was my health we talking about.

The Radiologists where so confused, not sure if I had fractures on my chest or what it was. The fact that people so professional, that we trust with our lives had no idea what was going on with me annoyed me with every beat of my heart. I then called my then boss/employer just to let him know what has been happening. Within a blink of an eye he was there to pick me up as I was sent back to the same clinic that referred me to the same hospital, reason being, the doctor who referred me there was supposed to explain the X-ray results as they were not clear to the nurses who assisted me. Unfortunately in our arrival to the clinic the doctor was already gone, and all they could do was to give me pain killers in case I suffer overnight and I was asked to return the next day if I weren’t feeling well.  

Still it did not occur to me that there were deeper things that weren't revealed yet because I still had no pains, so I decided to stay and not return as per instruction. Two days later my nightmare began. Suddenly my speech was not clear, on Monday, April 19, I went to my GP (General Practitioner) who gave me pain killers and told me to get enough rest. That night I hardly slept because I started bleeding through my mouth and by then I'm all alone in the house, but deep down I knew God was with me. The next morning I returned to my GP, who immediately wrote a transfer letter to Chris Hani Baragwanath. The only thing I remember is coming out of the surgery room weak, and when I woke up hours later I was in hospital. I still don't remember the man who rushed me to hospital but when I gained my conscious my aunt was sitting next to my bed. 

I saw my life flushing before my eyes and I was ready to let go, I was lying there weak and breathing through the Oxygen. Only after countless observations, injection and drips that doctors discovered that I had fractures in my manubrium. The brokenness in my heart when I noticed that my family had already given up on my recovery, they were whispering about funeral policies. I was out of breath and could not utter a word.

 I was later discharged from hospital after two weeks, and for two years I was in and out of hospital. Changing medications, going through different check ups and the thought of being in a speeding car peaked my heart with fear. 

 I did not imagine myself obtaining a drivers license or owning a car for that matter. Three years after my accident I did an introspection, I developed a desire to have my own car but the fear of having one lingered in my mind. I had to let go of that fear and live the life God wanted me to have.

I took the first step and booked for my learner’s license, and I passed first time. Now the main one was right ahead of me and I had to face it head on.  I reminded myself that I am strong, I want to be in control of my life, I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it as well if others can.  Unfortunately, we have fears too. They may be a result of bad experiences. But I achieved what the fear was holding, my license and the car. I can drive now.

Recap: I achieved my Diploma still in the hospital bed, doing my school work, but that was not the main issue I was having.

The moral of my story is that FEAR, is a very powerful enemy if you let it, but the good news is that there is someone who can help you overcome it. His name is Jesus Christ, God’s Son. He came into the world to free us from all the huddles that have held us captive, even when the prison is made of fears. I am a living testimony to this, God is always with 
me.SMILE :) NGIYABONGA BABA

Wipe Away All Tears

“God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.”  Revelation 21:4

This one of the most precious promises in God’s Word. Death, sorrow, and tears have all touched our lives. We know the pain of loss, but there is coming a day when God will wipe those tears from all eyes. What a beautiful picture that is! He reaches out with His loving hand and gently wipes the tears of mankind from their faces. He says to them, “There has been enough death and sorrow and crying. I have put an end to it.” 

When Adam sinned and brought all this heartache to the world, God was grieved; but He knew that He must allow mankind to experience sin and its downward spiral in order for us to appreciate what He truly wanted for us: a life free from sin. He set about to work out a plan for the salvation of all mankind and in His due time He sent Jesus to die for us. It has taken a long time to see God’s plan progress, but one day soon it will come to fruition. The culmination will be the God of the Universe wiping away all tears and putting an end to death, sorrow, crying and pain. Oh, what a day that will be; a day the whole world groans for! 

Father, my soul groans with this world for Your Kingdom. May it come quickly. I thank You for the glimpse of this kingdom You have given to me. I thank You that I know Your love now and that You have wiped the tears from my eyes. I thank You for the hope that one day soon the whole world will experience that same love as You wipe away all tears from their eyes and put an end to sin once and for all. We anxiously await that day! Amen

ONLY GOD!

I am just sitting here looking out my sliding glass doors. The Lord’s beauty just overwhelmed me and my thought was ONLY GOD. The sky is clear blue, and the trees are very still and beautiful. The birds are chirping; the sun is not out; this morning is so peaceful. Just to see God’s creation is so wonderful! ONLY GOD!
I began thinking how only God could have brought me through this last illness. ONLY GOD! ONLY GOD! ONLY GOD! A year ago, I could not even get out of bed or a chair. My muscles had totally collapsed, and my mind was so confused trying to deal with the new problems. My faith had not wavered, but I was having a difficult time accepting the immobility that besieged my body. ONLY GOD!
Satan was at his post, working very hard trying to put my faith down. As I lay in bed one evening, he began attacking me saying, “Where is your God? You are alone and cannot get out of bed. Where is he?”
I did not know what to do. I was hysterical. Satan was laughing and asked, “Where is the God you serve?”
Immediately, I realized that Satan was at his prime job of trying to make me deny God and follow him. I was totally embarrassed. The thoughts had caused me to become disoriented. I rebuked Satan, dried my tears, and looked up to God. My thoughts turned to Jesus, my Savior, because I knew He was the only one that could pull me through these tumultuous times. ONLY GOD! ONLY GOD!
While sitting here, I am reminded of GOD’S AMAZING GRACE. I see His GRACE working with me everyday. Only God could have pulled me through this illness. I did not have to do anything, but be still and know HE IS GOD. I can get out of bed and a chair by my own volition. ONLY GOD! I can walk better and have more mobility than I have had in the last two months. ONLY GOD! Everyday I am getting stronger and stronger. My face, hands, body, and skin are like new! ONLY GOD! God is still molding this body into a vessel to be used for Him. I am astonished at GOD’S AMAZING GRACE!

Ayanda Monyela

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THE NORTH WIND AND THE SUN

The North Wind boasted of great strength. The Sun argued that there was great power in gentleness. “We shall have a contest,” said the Sun. Far below, a man travelled a winding road. He was wearing a warm winter coat.
“As a test of strength,” said the Sun, “Let us see which of us can take the coat off that man.”
“It will be quite simple for me to force him to remove his coat,” bragged the Wind.

The Wind blew so hard, the birds clung to the trees. The world was filled with dust and leaves. But the harder the wind blew down the road, the tighter the shivering man clung to his coat.

Then, the Sun came out from behind a cloud. Sun warmed the air and the frosty ground. The man on the road unbuttoned his coat. The sun grew slowly brighter and brighter. Soon the man felt so hot, he took off his coat and sat down in a shady spot. “How did you do that?” said the Wind. “It was easy,” said the Sun, “I lit the day. Through gentleness I got my way.”
Aesop

Doormat

Christians don't have to be doormats...

When Jesus sent out the disciples  He gave them these specific instructions:

“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16 (NLT).

What was Jesus saying? That the disciples were going to have people trying to persecute them, take advantage of them, use them or run over them because they were followers of Jesus! So it was in that context, He said: "as you go out and encounter these people, be as harmless as doves, but as shred (wise) as serpents".

I believe that Jesus was also saying that when people are trying to run over us, use us, take advantage of us, persecute us, or run over us, that we should, also be:

AS HARMLESS AS DOVES:

Don't fight fire with fire.

• Don't fight fire with fire.
• Don't take revenge. 
• Represent Jesus well!
• Don't act in any way that it could "harm" the name or cause of Christ.
• Remain innocent, or as harmless, as doves.

However, I believe Jesus also gives us a lot of permission when He tells us to be:

AS WISE AS SERPENTS:

• Exercise faith, but don't be a fool.
• Don't allow people to take advantage of you, just because you're nice!
• Don't allow people to run over you, just because you're a Christian. 
• Don't just trust people blindly. Trust in a relationship is something that's built and earned. Jesus didn't "trust" the Pharisees. He knew their hearts & motives!
• Prudence, counsel, and caution are all words associated with wisdom in Scripture. Therefore, they can be applied to our relationships with people!

Who's our example for this way of living? Jesus! Harmless as a dove...but wise as a serpent! Doesn't this once again make you proud to be a follower of Jesus?!

Does this challenge the way you think about Christianity?

Attitude

Word of Faith

Word of Faith

Word of Faith

Word of faith

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now,
a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and
failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
'We must do something about father,' said the son.
'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.
' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work..

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,
neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

TAKE ME BACK

I don't love you like I used to
When nothing came between my God and me
And somehow it seems I've lessened my dependence
And wonder why it's not the way it used to be

But I'm ready to learn how to faithfully love you
With my heart, my soul, and my mind
Take me back
To the time I fell in love.


I don't serve you like I used to
'cause I'm too busy serving me
And I don't spend the time with you I need to
And wonder why my soul cannot find peace

But I'm ready to learn how to faithfully serve you
With my hands, my life, and my time
Take me back
To the time I fell in love

I don't love you like I used to
When nothing came between my God and me

But I'm ready to learn how to faithfully love you
With my heart, my soul, and my mind

Take me back to
The time I fell in love

LAY IT DOWN

I've been looking till my eyes are tired of looking

Listening till my ears are numb from listening

Praying till my knees are sore from kneeling on the bedroom floor

I know that you know that my heart is aching

I'm running out of tears and my will is breaking

I don't think that I can carry the burden of it any more

All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans,

Are slowly slipping through my folded hands



So I'm going to lay it down

I'm going to learn to trust You now

What else can I do

Everything I am depends on You

And if the sun don't come back up

I know Your love would be enough

I'm going to let it be, I'm going to let it go,

I'm going to lay it down.



I've been walking through this world like I'm barely living

Buried in the doubt of this hole I've been digging

But You're pulling me out

I'm finally breathing in the open air

Oh, This room may be dark but I'm finally seeing

There's a new ray of hope, and now I'm believing

That the past is past, and the future's beginning to look brighter now

Oh, cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans

Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands



So I'm going to lay it down

I'm going to learn to trust You now

Oh what more can I do,

Everything I am depends on You

And if the sun don't come back up

You know Your love will be enough

I've got to let it be, I've got to let it go,

I've got to lay it down

I WILL BE HERE!

I will wait for you

WHY NOT TODAY

Remember

Remember that your presence is a present to the world.

Remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable creation.

* Remember that your life can be what you want it to be.

* Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles.

Remember that you'll make it through whatever comes along.

Remember that most of the answers you need are within you.

Remember those dreams waiting to be realized.

Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance.

Remember to always reach for the best that is within you.

Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

* Remember that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.

Remember not to take things too seriously.

* Remember to laugh.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.

Remember that a lot goes forever.

Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.

* Remember that life's treasures are people, not things.

* Remember that miracles still happen.

A letter to my Mom

Mommy-
It seems so weird to say mommy, after all God felt the need to take you to make me who I am today. It's been almost 11 years since your death. I think about you everyday. At first it was I forgot your voice and then it was I forgot the way your hands looked then it was the little laugh lines you had where the placement was and if they look like mine now. I hope you are proud of me mommy. I have tried the best I know how in life and it was not easy but I knew that God was (is) watching me and protecting me in those moments of loneness. I am so lucky to have known such a fun and lovable person in such a short time (2years).

I thought about you a lot wondering how life was going to be for me and you. I wanted to make daddy and you very proud of me always. I am who I am today because of you. The day I graduated I stopped to be angry at you for leaving and realized that you were shaping me to be who I am today. I felt so alone with my siblings. Few of the family members were there to cheer us but in the stands was my friends whom where as close as a family I had. I miss you everyday and try not to think of you on the days I need you the most but its only to get me by on those days. I love you and miss you everyday I am grateful to have known you.

Ayanda Monyela (Letter to my mom Julia)

Becoming A Woman Of Excellence

A woman of excellence
Is what I long to be
Filled with your godly wisdom
So it is part of me

A woman of integrity
No matter what I face
Standing up for righteousness
And for your saving grace

A woman of destiny
Living out your plan
Knowing where you’d have me walk
Being guided by your hand

A woman of promise
Standing on your word
Holding on to all the truths
While carrying out your work

A woman of compassion
For the ones in the dark
Those that do not know your love
And have darkness in their hearts

A woman that will never
Compromise the faith
With what the world may offer
But will keep the narrow way

A woman who loves Jesus
And will only follow Him
Gladly to give up the world
So His light can shine within

Lord this is my earnest prayer
As a daughter by your grace
Grow in me these qualities
As I walk with you in faith